Truth vs Lies

Saving people... you can't. No one can but themselves. I'll never go back on that one, I don't think. I've seen it tried too many times, and I've seen it fail or backfire just as many times.

When it wasn't my uncle, it was his son. When it wasn't my uncle or his son, it was my grand-mother, and when it wasn't her it was one of my aunts. Tonight I didn't keep quiet. When my mother's latest pet project was to 'save' yet another human being I told her to stop and look at herself. I told her she was just as lost and messed up as the very person she was intent on saving now. I told her all that and she fell silent.

I see things in others that hurt when I tell them as it is. So now, more often than not I just keep quiet and say nothing. I let them believe in their delusions because I really do not know what is best anymore. Truth? Is it really better than believing in a lie that makes you feel better, especially if that lie is about how you see yourself and justify your actions?

I have seen some truths about myself, I have seen some seriously dark sides and I wonder. Was it worth it? To myself, yes it was and always will be. But in general? Would I wish this quest I have with my own self on anyone else - what would be my advice to others? Would my advice be to seek your self or to remain ignorant?

Right now, it would have to be the latter. Ignorance is the illusion of serenity. One could spend their entire existence bathed in it and never know any better. They would die the illusion of a serene man, wouldn't they? Because it's all about what we make ourselves believe in. What's the difference, really, between the illusion of something and the real deal?

Pain. If it still hurts then it must be real. That's my only clue forward.