I have to meet Tom for some political meeting- a socialist one. I’m open to ideas but I’m lazy. And I’m far too wary of politics feel even remotely excited. Tom, on the other hand, is overtly dedicated and holds strong views. He’s a doer. I’m more of a thinker who thinks too much and over-analyses the most trivial things. Where I could spend eternity pondering, he would be doing something. Neither quality is self-sufficient or intrinsically good in itself. It would be the merging of both into one person that would allow the latter to achieve better results. A good balance of structured thinking combined with the energy and strive of morphing thoughts into concrete actions. The ultimate well-rounded individual with the key to greatness for a society. Of course there are such people in the world, I have no doubt about that. What often lacks is something that could almost be compared to the idea of soul to a person: a dash of good will or profound integrity. Now if one was to present all three qualities -logics, strive and good will- we would have on our hands the true politician. Life is such that the very first quality to wither in its bud is integrity and we’re left with a strive turning into ambition and logics, well, comes and goes like the wind. Knowing this, how could I not be disappointed from the start?

I love early mornings, especially at dawn, when the fine line between darkness and renewed light emerges beyond the ocean of bricks and iron. There’s simply such a wealth of colours and subtle gradations that it seems to swell and enflame my heart at once. But it never lasts long and before you know it, at the mere blink of an eye, daylight suddenly takes over.

Now aged 25, I must say that the odds are rather stacked against me. I’ve grown into my own person- whatever that means, really- with such fierce independence and rejection of social expectations that I don’t see how I could ever change. The outlook I have on life might not be that different from other people, even though it is tempting to assume it is, but it has a stronger effect on me, on the way I feel or react to the things I see or think that I can see. 

Whereas the mind fights relentlessly toward the glimmer of light and knowledge the person slowly dies away, torn between the realms of raison and folly. Just as a body will decay, so will what I can only define as the soul for lack of better words to refer to that feeling part of the person. Perhaps, as you grow older, so does that part as though it were slowly pulled away from the body, dispersed in an unfathomable Netherworld. How funny to think that what really makes a person is in fact far removed from reality. If one was to truly define a living thing in particular, according to the form it remains as for the longest period of time, then we would have to talk in terms of nothingness and memories where the latter represents the highest state of existence. Taking the notion of time as a major factor in the attempt to define what existence is or represents, what the true substance of a person is in time, then it is nothing or a mere memory. Thus in the great temporal spectrum people are more often than not non-existent for they spend more time as nothing or mere memories than they do alive and concrete.

Time is a factor in our notion of reality. Reality is an abstract notion prone to the whims of ever-passing time. We, as people, don’t give or shape reality, time does. Only such an infinite spectrum can give the notion of reality consistancy by being the active element, the steady running line from point A (as far back as possible) to point B (as far as that line can run). On the other hand people are merely passive vectors scattered along that line and therefore they can only have glimpses of such reality which they do not create by existing for it would keep changing as there’re people.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, honestly. It seems to make sense in my head and yet the proper words fail me. You can understand a lot of things by instinct but only the process of learning can morphe intrinsec understanding or knowledge into concrete reasoning using the proper words.