Fera, Ferae

Growing up, I first wanted to be a vet, because I thought I loved animals. They were so cute and fluffy, you know, you just had to love' em. I used to go down to the local library and I'd sit at one of the tables in the adult section with the biggest books I could find on nature and wildlife. I remember feeling quite smug looking around me at all these serious-looking adults, and I was an eight year old planning my future trips to Antarctica, or Africa, or Greenland, or... Who cared, the world was my oyster! I'd open the books at random and find a beautiful image or picture that would spark my imagination and I would start making a list of what was written about it. I'd choose a place on Earth and I would make a list of the types of animals I would be able to find there, the vegetation, the trees... everything.

I was an explorer.

Yeah... Then I moved country kind of overnight. That made me more than a little confused and lost, I have to say. I got sick, I got depressed, I even used to dream how I would kill myself.

I won't lie... the years between my 19th birthday and the age of 24 are but a mist in my own head. I barely remember anything, and it's as though I somehow fell into a coma during that time.

Yet reality shows me that during that same comatose period (from which I remember next to nothing) I managed to get a Law degree, I also moved places about at least 6 or 7 times, changed countries twice, got better, got sicker...

Then I turned 25. I was back at university, this time studying something else. Something called journalism, but really the word no longer means anything in reality. It's all part of some bigger illusion, and I suppose to make it easier to understand I should say it is now the equivalent of BS. Trust me, I've actually wasted THREE years of my life studying it.

I'm an idiot.

A very, very naive idiot.

Then I woke up. I literally woke up from my 'coma' and the flurry of questions in my head has never stopped since. Those questions were always there, of course, but I was too scared and clueless to face reality.

And now I know. I know that everything we see is part of a sham we choose to believe in.
Indeed, unless you happen to be born mentally retarded, you are always making a choice, either conscious or unconscious, to see what really lies before you... or hide behind the lies society offers you so long as you abide by its rules.

There is only bullshit everywhere you look. People use all the pretty words and notions but in reality, they do the opposite. I dare you to face that absurd truth.

Politics... if you believe in that crap, or if you are one of those torturing themselves over 'who to vote for'... My, I pity you.

The economy... CORRUPT people invented a language of their own made up of bloody equations to make it too complex for the average Joe to understand! It's a modern invention that means nothing.

Charity... It was invented for the modern world - to make you feel better about the fact that you are living off the blood and crushed bones of others... and before I forget to mention it, there is no need to go all the way to some third world country to prove it, looking past your doorstep might just suffice. So go on, take out your poxy credit card and make a 'donation'. The Chief Executive of MyAss. org will be very happy to use it for their own profit.

The world we live in is immersed in nonsense and chaos often nurtured on purpose - yet saying it out loud makes you the loony in the story because the majority chooses to be blind...

I expect nothing from this world. But I'll be watching it.