Oh, the bore of looking for jobs... I forgot how boring and wrong it felt. I mean, not looking for a job in itself, but the process that has been put in place that resembles more baring it all in front of strangers (they apparently have a right to know everything about you, but you don’t about them) while selling yourself to them. I’m having a hard time finding a difference between prostitution and so-called work. And my, the jobs are boring... They really are for the most part.
I suppose everything that’s left that could be of the slightest interest would require better skills than I have, and probably better connections. I’m supposed to start the process of enslaving myself to society and I can’t even be picky! And I’ve lost all enthusiasm anyway, which is the only bad thing I let happen to me. Mopping around in utter despair doesn’t resolve anything, it makes you a loser from the start. I know that, but I can’t help it. I don’t stand a chance in anything society has to offer and the reason for that is almost absurd:
1- I don’t believe in anything society has to offer because it is corrupt and based on false, if not criminal, foundations. Everything good has become evil, everything evil has become good. Right is now wrong and wrong is right and the whole of the world is learning the Orwellian Double Speak (okay, granted, Double Speak has been around for quite some time already, but I'm a slow learner).
2 - Since I don’t believe in anything society has to offer, I’m stuck in a catch 22 situation because society requires that its slaves be competitive and ready to destroy one another to get up the ladder of so-called success.
3 - I have lost any trace of a strive to compete, or pretend to compete, for things I don’t believe in.
This all equals to one thing: I’m fucked.
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