I woke up this morning with a start, thinking: "Am I too proud?"

I lay back against the pillows, thinking harder about the past, forcing various memories back to the fore as though they were supposed to play witness in this silly little game of self-blame. And then I felt tears warm up the length of my cheeks before drifting back into a dreamless slumber.

Pride

Do not ask me to love the world

For I hate it.

Whatever lesson you wish me to learn,

I shall not learn it.

And even if you lavish me with pearls

Of wisdom to be attained

Still I will turn my back away.

For every sigh, for every failed sign,

I will turn a blind eye and swear,

And I will not break the boisterous resolve

That has coursed my veins since birth,

This I promise I will not even when,

Thrown out from the womb of a world

You force me to embrace,

The convenient excuse of Youth wanes.

I will make you watch me grow old and bitter,

Accused, pushed against the ground,

Hating the world as passionately as the first day,

Having learned nothing.