Trapped

This feeling... of being trapped. it came back to the fore recently after meeting with a friend, who was adamant we should 'run away' for a few days in the countryside not just to recharge batteries, but also in search for inspiration. We made plans, it sounded easy and straightforward enough. We were going to book places on a boat and after an overnight journey by sea we'd get where we intended to go. I was looking forward to it, I have to say.

My friend called me last night to tell me she'd just booked her place, and she sent me the link to book mine at once. As it turned out, there were no more places left. My friend had booked the last place, unbeknownst to her. I called her back, telling her it wouldn't let me book it, and she realised, sounding half-horrified, that she'd just booked whatever last place there was left on the last boat for the day. We checked the next boats - all full. So we checked air travel options - no places left. Everything was booked, probably because it's Christmas time.

I could have felt angry or frustrated about it... the fact that I couldn't go. And perhaps I was for a second or two, deep down... yet at the same time I was laughing inside in a more ironic or sarcastic way.

Me? Escaping for even a few days? hahaha... I am trapped in this reality. And the more this reality traps me, the more my mind finds itself fighting back.