Socially challenged as I am... I keep having to bite my tongue around people because if I don’t I’ll say something I’m not supposed to say or even think.

We invented or were born with the ability to create many social faces for ourselves for a reason. Take the mask(s) down and you are as vulnerable as a newborn within a society. Take the mask(s) down and you end up hurting others’ feelings by simply being too honest or blunt.

We really start off as mere products of our society, whether we happen to conform or reject it. I never realised until fairly recently how crucial that fact was in terms of shaping humanity. It may be that we are born with certain innate qualities or faults, but ultimately, it is our environment which will be the key as to whether we develop those innate qualities/flaws or not. The simplest example would be that of a child born in some remote place where chances of survival are low. Who is to know if that child wasn’t born with an innate talent for composing, for instance? His talent would never develop, however, because his environment would not allow it: he would either spend his life trying to survive, leaving no room for passions or growth, or he would die in the crib.

So I ask the question: how much of us is us? How much of I is actually I? How much is down to all the random vectors brought about by environment?

Changes in human mores and patterns of thought can never be rushed, yet they are - every single day. Changes are made so quickly that in the end it becomes wholly counterproductive. In an era where everything must happen right here, right now, allowing the necessary time for people’s line of thought to change naturally is seen as a waste of time when it is in fact paramount to long term positive evolution.

I live in a prison whose cells are only getting smaller and I have to take my mind off this reality.
Find a way out of this madness... Even if it means having to work a stupid job to get the money we’re forced to earn to survive. So be it. I’ll do it for as long as it takes, until that bloody money becomes enough to buy my escape, and then you won’t be seeing me again.

Oh no you won't.

I will not be part of this circus, and I shall not live the rest of my existence in a bubble of lies and deceit. By choosing to evade all that is fake and un-real, all that I lose is comfort.

I can live with the loss. I’ll learn, somehow.