The problem with people of my weird kind is that we tend to see the light at the end of the tunnel from the start.. We see the greatest things in the distance, and because we are dazzled by it, we often forget to walk the path leading to that light. In my case, I get frightened that I’ll make a wrong move and the light I always see at the end will vanish from sight. And so it is that I dither at a distance from the bright light full of fulfilled dreams and ideals simply because I am dazzled by it before I can even walk up to it.

Because... somehow - and I do not know how -, I have always known everything that mattered deep down... And I lose patience knowing what dwells on the horizon, rebelling against the fact that I still have to walk the path to it.

Every aspect of society is so deeply corrupted... and we are teaching children from the crib to play to the same tune.
I look outside the window and I see the pure blue skies, and what a contrast it creates between its constant splendor and our reality... The sky and its beauties shift from one day to the next, but in essence it has never changed: we keep changing our reality.

As surely as the sun is shinning today, I must be depressed, but I am depressed only because of the world. If I were to see a shrink to talk about my inner pain, their advice would include ‘stop thinking about the world and what you can’t change. Think about your own life and how you can make it better.” They’d remind me that the world is a harsh place and that I’d always be miserable thinking so much about what is wrong. They’d say I could drive myself crazy dwelling on what I can’t possibly change. I would surely say to them: “Fine, I’ll start focusing on my own life to make it better... But I don’t want to be part of this rotten system you all fit into. So what’s your advice for me, doc?”
The shrink would most likely chuckle by then and say something like: “Well, Aliska... You might not like the system but you need to find a way to live in it.”

This, by the way, is the blanket answer that really means you have no choice because you belonged to the system the moment you were born. It also means that you are required by the system to either play the game or turn a blind eye to retain your own sanity. So in the end, the real alternative to my state of intense depression and hurt is to revert back to being ‘blind’... But I was never blind to begin with!

Nah... If I ever was supposed to give in and play the game my own life would not have shaped the way it did.

I would not be the way I am now.