A piece of nothing

I feel tired in general… I know I should count my blessings and be grateful for all that I do have. I know that, and I try everyday to be and feel grateful because everywhere there is a reminder of how much worse things can be for people. What kills me is this nagging lack of satisfaction, this… disease of the mind, or soul, which never finds solace in anything because nothing is ever enough, and the grass always looks greener elsewhere. It’s so bad… so wrong and misguided. I know that, and yet the feelings are there. I feel beside the point, and more and more I feel these horrible pangs of jealousy or envy…. And so long as I do I know it will only serve to stunt me.

Why can’t I let go and be at peace inside and out? It’s like… the more time I spend in society, the more infected I become with what I can only call corruption and greed. Long gone are the days when I was able to write my thoughts to a much deeper level… now… now it’s just a daily stream of rambling moans. I’m drowning in a sea of inane banalities of life and there is nothing I can do or will do about it. I don’t even write much at all anymore. The stories have come to a halt and all I do is procrastinate at best. 

It’s 22:22 and tomorrow I have to go back to work… there’s a noisy helicopter flying around… I guess we all got used to those things breaking the silence of night from time to time… it just becomes part of the background after a while and nobody questions it anymore. It’s like those white trails across the sky… most people don’t even notice them anymore, they even mistake them for a completely natural occurrence at times… that’s the essence of what we call reality right there: it’s not about what really ‘is’, it’s about how we perceive it.

It's all about perception.